I adore Halloween. I love theme parties anyway, and it’s a huge, creepy masquerade, and there’s candy and pumpkins and houses decked out with cobwebs and jointed skeletons. Joy!

When I was in fifth grade, I decided I wanted to be an executioner, designed the costume, and my mom sewed it. I scared my teacher (I did!). This comic is in Monkey Food:

This year I was a post-catfight beauty pageant winner. See, there was this beauty pageant sponsored by Glade, on account of their new Carpet and Room Deodorizer fragrance, “Island Mist.” I said to myself, “Belynda? You may be a divorced single mother of two loser teenagers, and you may be stuck forever in Allentown, Pennsylvania, and it’s been a long time since winning the Pumpkin Queen crown.. but darn it, I want that year’s supply of Johnson Wax products, up to $1000! I use practically that much in Windex as it is!!

“And now it’s over and I WON, I WON, you hear that, Mindi??! Believe you me, I won fair and square, no matter what that nut job jealous bitch says. She tried to choke me and totally scratched my face, can you see? Jealousy is ugly. You hear that, Mindi?! U-G-L-Y, UGLY!!”

“Somebody get this ugly bitch off me!”

“My face! My beautiful face!”

“Fuck you, Mindi!!”

The current Stranger has an article about the Genius Awards/ Booze Hoe-down at the Henry, including a mention of “Ellen Forney’s giant cartoons of the winners that loomed over the crowd in red, white, and black, like adorably intelligent Communist dictators.” (Photos posted Oct. 23, below.) They loomed adorably! That’s nice.

She’s supposed to be, like, Kali as a Burning Man goddess.

This year’s big-deal Stranger Genius Awards ceremony/party was at the Henry Art Museum last Saturday night, and I was commissioned to paint gigantic portraits of the winners. Now I can say I showed my artwork at the Henry! Sort of. In any case, I painted the 4′ x 4′ portraits at brilliant illustrator Kathryn Rathke’s Beacon Hill house, and for a week and a half became “the lady in the basement.” Her husband, Barry, would occasionally descend to hand me a SPECTACULAR cocktail, complete with garnish.

Here is the Lead Pencil Studio portrait on the wall right after I finished it, and the lot of them in situ, with Kathryn pondering and toasting them.

How to make Oscar less grouchy (who knew?):

I’m assuming Twisted Sister wouldn’t mind that I turned their logo into a pussy.

When I had a show of my Big Paintings of Sexy Women at the Seattle Erotic Art Festival a few years ago, Audra approached me to do a similar portrait of her. Voila! It’s 3′ x 4′ (very big on the Ellen Forney scale) and 3″ deep (it’s a wooden structure and sticks out from the wall). The one I did of my friend Janet is on my COMMISSIONS page.

D/P is “double penetration.” A socket is “female” and plugs are “male.” Get it? Ha ha, the drawing is D/P.

I occasionally do work for IOA, a company in downtown Seattle. It’s a pack of computer geeks and ex-hackers who have honed their craft and sell their expertise to corporations, because who better to protect their sensitive computer systems? My pal Josh cracks the whip there, and he recently told me that at Blackhat 2006, the big annual computer geek/hacker/ex-hacker convention (with seminar names like Advanced Incident Response: Determining Functionality of Captured Unknown Binaries) the swag I designed was really popular — one item in particular, a bandana with their for-the-event pirate logo (get it, “pirate”):

The logo:

Grog (and you rock on there, dude!)

The DJ has an IOA sticker on his shirt, too

Just like a comics convention! Who knew??